Do you hate spam mail? We all do. Now and then the spammers present a rare opportunity to get back at them.
I received one of the "Nigerian Letters" (aka. a 419 scam) in an e-mail a little while back. This is a classic fraud, which comes in several variations. It is usually some unfortunate African (for unknown reasons he's usually a doctor) who recently had his father or some other relative killed by the henchmen of some dictator. Now he has a large sum of money (somewhere between 20 and 30 million dollars) which he needs to transfer out of the country, and he needs your help to do it. In return you get a percentage of the money.
Either he wants you to give him the number of your bank account and give him authority so he can transfer the money to your account (except he sucks it dry in stead), or he wants you to travel to some country, cash in hand, and pay several thousand dollars in "transaction fees", because unfortunately it always turns out there are a lot of unforeseen expenses in order to get the money.
Having created a separate e-mail account for the purpose, I decided to send a reply. I wanted to see how ridiculous I could behave in my e-mails before the scammer realized I was making fun of him. Thanks to sickhumor.dk for the idea.
First, here's the mail from Henri Golden Uwaluta.
Subject: Urgent Assistance From: Henri Golden Uwaluta [mnzenge_nzengena@yahoo.co.uk] To: Date: fr 23-08-2002 01:01 |
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TEL:+31-623-913-133 You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally. The purpose of my introduction is that I am Henri Golden Uwaluta the first son of Joseph Golden Uwaluta ,a farmer in Zimbabwe who was recently murdered in the land dispute in my country. I got your contact through network online hence decided to write you. Before the death of my father, he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the sum of US4.5 million (Four million, Five Hundred thousand United States dollars), in one of the private security company, as he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe this money was deposited in a box as gem stones to avoid much demurrage from security company. This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the Farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland. This land problem came when Zimbabwean President Mr.Robert Mugabe introduced a new Land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers and some few black farmers, and this resulted to the killing and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society. In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land reform Act for which my father was one of the victims. It is against this background that, I and my family fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and are currently staying in the Netherlands where we are seeking political asylum and moreso have decided to transfer my father’s money to a more reliable foreign account. since the law of Netherlands prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone of Netherlands, As the eldest son of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them. I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money out of South Africa for fear of going through the same experience in future, both countries have similar political history. As a businessman,I am seeking for a partner who I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free. If you accept to assist me and my family, all I want you to do for me, is to make an arrangements with the security company to clear the consignment(funds) from their afiliate office here in the Netherlands as i have already given directives for the consignment to be brought to the Netherlands from South Africa.But before then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership to the consignment and more importantly this money I intend to use for investment. I have two options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever the option you want, feel free to notify me. I have also mapped out 5% of this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the process of this transaction.If you do not prefer a partnership I am willing to give you 10% of the money while the remaining 85% will be for my investment in your country. Contact me with the above telephone number and through my private E-mail address(hgolden_1@lycos.com), while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction. Thanks, GOD BLESS YOU Yours Faithfully Henri Golden |
A reply to this terrific offer was in order, I thought.
Subject: Re: Urgent Assistance From: Rige Svin [samaritan@gmx.net] To: Henri Golden Uwaluta [hgolden_1@lycos.com] Date: fr 23-08-2002 22:50 |
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Hello, Mr. Uwaluta. Firstly, allow me to express my deepfelt sympathy. I feel for you. I too have lost a relative due to the recent uprising in Zimbabwe. It was my uncle, Stor Starut [English: "Big Guy"]. Maybe you have heard of him? He owned a very large farm, employing about 300 people. I would feel bad accepting money from you, since I recently unexpectedly became a millionaire myself. I invested 89$ in a book called "How to Work at Home and Become a Millionaire". Let me tell you, that really works. Oh, I was sceptical at first, thinking it was just a scam, but after a month the money just started rolling in. The secret is having a great idea, and this book helps you to get it. So I am not doing this to get rich, but as a favor to you. To prove my sincerity in this matter I will not ask for any money. You probably need it more than I, what with your family to support and a new country to settle in. I would like to know more about you, because I think we could be great friends. We're linked together by a shared history, I feel. But it is all part of a higher plan. Are you a religious man, Henri (you won't mind if I call you Henri, will you)? Although you must feel lost and confused right now, God will make things work out in the end. Praise the Lord! Tell me about your life. What kind of job did you have before? Did you live at your father's farm? I've always liked to live out in the country, myself. Or were you perhaps a businessman? You sound very professional. Me, I've never been good at handling money, but perhaps my luck has now turned. Also, I'd love to hear about your family. Maybe I'll come visit you and your family once you get your citizenship sorted out. Wouldn't that be great? I feel like we already know each other. Let me know how I can help. God has truly blessed me, and I would like to help a fellow man in need. Sincerely, Rige Svin [English: "Rich Bastard"] |
Henri was not late to reply.